Preventive Maintenance

I have been here before.  That dark dripping cellar part of relationships we call falling in love. Too many moments worried that if a pipe breaks the relationship and I will drown and die. Am I running too soon? Am I safe? An adrenalin rush for sure. Must be the reason I keep getting into these things. At first they fit nice, like warm pieces of clothing. But after a while the day comes either on its own or because of circumstance, and the cloth begins to itch, pull and make me feel like I should have known better investing love in the first place. Did I say that I have been here before? I keep telling my self that I should know better. But positive inflection on reflection often leaves the reflector bewildered and confused. Not this time though. I know for sure that now is the time to make the break and to cut the bonds and free myself. How, do I know this? Because I have been here before or did I not mention that? Sure there will be days when I look back and say, did you go too soon? Did you give it all the chances that it should have had? Where you the one at fault and you just used the escape clause way too soon? Too many question and too few answers. But then again, will I get the chance to do it again? Shallow, some might say. Preventive maintenance for the job yet chosen so that it does not came back to haunt me I screwed up I would say. A reality of understanding, that in love as in time, all things come to pass, and for me this time; knowing that all things must pass is salvation as well as cross.

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